Sometimes I wonder if my husband was ever meant to be a dad. Wow, that sounds so very compassionate. I know he has a job he hates, working with people he hates, living in a body he hates... Unfortunately, all that hate has to come out sometime and someone will be affected. Unfortunately, that someone is usually a family member.
It sure seems to me that if you know that it's not the family member that's irritating you, that you should make an effort to speak civilly to the family member regardless of how you feel and what's going on. And if you can't do that, you should at least apologize
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